Sunday, September 20, 2009

More Doctor Appointments

I have often thought of the different relationships I have with my six siblings. I love them all very much, but the relationship is different with each of them. It just so happens that I always seem to go to my younger brother after receiving upsetting news from my doctors. What follows is a letter I wrote my brother after my latest doctor appointment.

Well it's happened again. This past Wednesday I had a 3:15 neurologist appointment. The appointment wasn't the problem; the problem was the time of day 3:15 PM. And it just so happened that Wednesday morning at 11:30 both the home health nurse and the home aid showed up. So even though I had taken two naps one after breakfast and one after lunch, I was exhausted by the time we arrived at Dr. H's office, about a 5 minute drive from the house. I don't suppose the fact that I had a Dr. K appointment on Tuesday afternoon, that took 3 hours from the time we left the house until we returned, helped how I felt.

It also didn't help that I have begun having trouble keeping myself upright in my wheelchair. So I have begun to use the gait belt not only in the van, but also when I have to be in my wheelchair for a long period of time. When in my recliner, I have it tilted back, so I don't have to work to keep myself from collapsing forward.

So Dr. H thinks the time has come to look into a tilt wheelchair. However, the last time they put a tilt seat on this wheelchair base, it made everything so high that I had trouble getting into the van, and it was too high making it impossible for me to get my knees under the table or vanity in the bathroom. It also was too long causing me to damage the walls in the house. I am not looking forward to this wheelchair battle. I just know that no sooner will we get through the wheelchair battle that Dr. H will start telling me I need to stay in bed and have someone come in to help with mid day meals. This is beginning to feel like a long, drawn out, never ending war. As soon as one battle is finished another one appears.

When I was back in the waiting room, while P was with the doctor getting some prescriptions and getting the next appointment set up, that the doctor told her that there is nothing else the doctors can do. Now the treatments will be for quality of life. I have thought this for some time now; however I don't like to hear the doctors confirm my suspicions.

So as usual after a Dr. appointment, I am upset. I am upset at being so constantly tired. I am upset that everything is so much work now. It is an effort, not a big effort, but still an effort to move my arms. However, on the bright side, my legs aren't much of a problem, they don't move much anymore. And I can still win at level 7 Sudoku in an average of 23 minutes. I still sit and talk to family using either email or Instant Messenger. I've also found so I can watch some television shows that I've never seen before.


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